We’ve all experienced anxiety at some point—whether it’s that unease before a big event, or a deeper, persistent worry that lingers in the background of our lives. But what is anxiety, really?
Most definitions describe it as nervousness, unease, or apprehension about a future event or uncertain outcome. That’s a good starting point. But for those living with anxiety, these descriptions can feel too broad—or too clinical—to capture what’s really going on.
From my work and personal experience, I’ve found that anxiety often centers around three core questions:
- Am I safe?
- Will I be safe?
- Will I be able to handle it?
When these questions go unanswered—or are constantly asked without resolution—they create a spiral of worry and emotional overload. The longer someone feels stuck or out of control, the more intense the freeze response becomes. And that can lead to panic attacks, shutdowns, or emotional overwhelm.
Here’s the key insight:
Anxiety often isn’t about what’s happening—it’s about feeling powerless to respond. It’s that internal questioning with no clear way to fight, flee, or resolve the situation that leads to the emotional “lockdown.”
In these moments, a person may shift between a desire to escape and a belief that they can’t. This can create a loop that reinforces the idea: “I’m powerless.”
And that’s where healing begins—with the gentle rebuilding of control, trust, and presence.
In EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), we often use check-ins like “What do you notice?” or “How intense is that feeling from 0 to 10?” But when someone is already overwhelmed, these questions can make things worse. They heighten awareness of the anxiety instead of guiding toward resolution.
Instead, we start where the client is. We listen closely. We use their language. We support without pushing. And in the next post, we’ll explore how simple shifts in language and perspective can begin to create lasting change.
To be continued…